Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Please stop growing

I remember the joy i had first finding out that i was going to have a child. I had always wanted kids - 4 in fact. I know, what was i thinking?
When i first held my son, i was so happy. I know, i know, every mother feels that way. And if she didn't i feel bad for her. I love my son, actually he was my first love. Not in that gushy mushy love like adults feel for the opposite sex. But that deep down in my soul kind of love. The kind of love i couldn't and wouldn't give away for any amount of money. I wanted the world for him. I wanted him to be everything that he could be. I never wanted him to feel pain. The kind of pain that involves heart break and disappointment. Not the kinds of pain i go through in my life.
Then i had my daughter and i felt exactly the same way except in a much more girly way.
And then came my third and life seemed...complete. I loved them to the extreme depths of the earth, and they didn't even know it.

I only wish for my children to have the kind of love that my parents didn't really show me. I wanted them to know that life is hard, it's never easy but i wanted them to know that if you needed it and wanted it, you'd have to work hard for it.
I wanted to snuggled them up and never let them grow up. And when they started growing up...i wanted to shelter them from the cruel world we now lived in.
But seeing them grow and know this world, i felt heart broken. Heart broken because i knew they'd experience their first heart break, their first real pain.
I only hope it would never come from me. I hope i would never be the one to hurt them, to break their heart over and over again.

But as they got older, that was exactly what was going on. I broke their hearts over and over again. And i wanted them to know, it broke my heart 10x more.
Saying "no" to your kids is possibly the hardest thing, at least for me it is. Because i knew how it felt. I've been said "no" to, too many times.
Every time i wanted that piece of chocolate, "no we don't have money for that". Every time i wanted that $30 shirt, "no it's too expensive."
Yeah it gets old, but i've learned to live with it. We were poor growing up, we didn't have much.
I didn't want my kids to go through that, so when i was a teen before i got married, i vowed i'd never let my kids go through that, i'd do whatever it took to not have them live that childhood i lived.
And they don't get to live the childhood i lived. But i still say no to that $40 shirt. There are limits.
Back to my point. I know i've broken their little hearts many times. I just wish they knew it was hard for me to do it.

My kids were growing at incredible rates - i hated it. But it was precious to see them transform. My babies, my joys were growing older and me? I'm getting older too.
Now that they're older, they want more and need more, it's unavoidable. I understand.
What i want them to know is that, no matter how much they grow, i won't stop saying "no". But it's in good intentions even if they don't think so.
So baby, please don't hate me, please don't despise me, i'm only trying to be a mother. There's a reason why i do the things i do and say the things i say. It's not to hurt you, it's to help you grow and learn.
Please try not to want to grow up so quickly. I know you want to grow and experience things but please go at a slow pace.
If you grow up fast, i grow fast too and pretty soon before you know it. I might not be there to tell you what's right or wrong. And to be honest, i don't know if you care, but lets just assume you do care. I just want to love you for much longer and have you here with me before you go out into the adult world.
I want more time for you to need me, to want me. I NEED more time to tell you what you can't or can do. Because once i can't anymore, my world will be lonely. You will go off into the world while i wait around to see if you will come around to visit or not.
So why not give me that?
Because i've given you everything else. This is all i ask. To just be my baby, my child and NEED me a little longer. That's all i ask.
Please try not to want to grow up so fast.

You don't know how much your mother NEEDS YOU to be a little bit more dependent on her and to give her kisses and hugs and tell her that you love her. Besides, have you told her you love her lately? It would mean the world to her. She doesn't need much really....Not much at all.

I know my kids will hate me on a daily or weekly basis. Boy that breaks my heart but it's a reality. But i still hope that they will understand why i do the things i do...for them.
But breaks my heart so much when i know i've disappointed them or made them mad. It's not a feeling i really like to all!
But what hurts the most is the way your kids talk to you, the hatred in their tones, the disappointment in their faces, the blank stares they give you.
At times i feel like i've failed in every aspect of being a mother, or a wife at that matter. Most days i feel like i've failed in every aspect of my life.
Awful to admit, has a lot to do with how my kids treat me too. How the kids treat me, determines how i feel as a mother.  And truth is, they do treat you like shit sometimes and yes you feel like you want to run away and never come back. And truth is, sometimes it's not because of how you are as a mother either.
Maybe they would be better off without you.
And yes i've thought of it, i probably made my mom feel like that at times. But not a lot though, i know how my childhood was and i was as a teen.
I gave more freedom to my kids than my mother ever did to me. And it was probably a good thing, it shaped me today and i'm glad my mom was so strict on me.
Wish i had a back bone like my mom. But like i said, i didn't want them to feel that isolation i felt.
And yeah, i've thought of it, it probably would serve them better if they lived that kind of life.
All i want is for them to be respectful and understanding and yes they are, most times. But children will be children, i must understand that.

Gosh i wish i knew this feeling i'm having right now. I thought i could write down my emotions and be done with it. But it's killing me to see my kids grow and not always understand me. Hurts worst when they hate you. Ok so they probably don't hate hate me, but you know what i mean.
I just wish they didn't want to grow up so quick.

I don't even know if any mother would understand how i'm feeling right now or even know what i'm talking about.

I just want my children to know that any decision i make and any answer i give them, either they like it or not, i want them to know it's for their best interest. I don't want to deprive them but there are things that need to be set to boundaries and maybe just maybe i want my babies to just be with me for a bit longer and not be grown ups for just one day if i can help it.
That's all i want. Please understand me.

When you become parents, i know you will understand how or what i'm going through right now. I just wish you would understand right now too.
So when i say "no i'll drive you" just let me!
Because you know what?
It'll mean i get to have you with me for a bit longer.
I love you with all my heart. All three of you. And there's nothing you can do about it. So please don't grow up so soon.

Monday, December 10, 2012


I can't believe it's already December. Seems like the year kinda just went by like a blurrr. In only a month my little monkey will be a year!
This will be her friend Christmas and our first Christmas with her and without my mother-in-law. It's a sad and wonderful feeling all together. But we have so much to be thankful for and we are absolutely blessed in soo many ways.

We got Christmas ready early this year. We put up the tree the Monday after Thanksgiving! I love it! I will definitely do it again. For the pass few years we would be so late, like a week before Christmas late! lol
This time everyone gets to enjoy it longer.
Nalin has been pretty good with the tree, she hasn't really shown much interest in it so she doesn't bother it and i like it that way. The presents? Now that's a different question. But she loses interest in it real quick. lol

This year i don't want much. All i want is for my family to be happy, healthy and loved. I only want us to try to be the best that we could be as a family and as friends.
Take out all the negatives and keep all the positives.
This year i've seen friends turn into something that isn't really 'friends' anymore and it's sad. But i will have to accept that and try to distance myself.

Life is too short to be sucked into negative energy.

Our new buddies this year. Aren't they cute?

Monday, December 3, 2012

First Thanksgiving!

For Thanksgiving this year we spent some time in Tennessee. It is the first year we did not eat a formal traditional turkey dinner. I was a bit bummed about that. I really wanted traditional for my family.
But seeing family kinda made up for it a bit.
We went Thanksgiving morning. Long drive but i enjoyed it. Seeing the family was extra rewarding. I think for Lien seeing his dad was a treat. Since his mom is gone he wanted to make sure his dad is alright and doing ok. He worries but we all know all his kids worry about him too.
He seems to be doing well, just a bit lonely which is understandable.
Lien felt bad so we had our own little Thanksgiving dinner {with ham} the night before. My sister-in-law joined us along with my sister and parents. Doesn't matter what we are eating, as long as my family is there i'm happy!
This is Nalin's first Thanksgiving!!!
They had a little get-together for him and some friends. It was pretty fun. I pretty much hung out with the kiddos but hey i'm use to it. Guess i'm pretty boring lol.

We spent about 3 days there. We tried to get back home so i could go see my friends who were doing a Pinterest party. But we got hungry along the way and stopped in Cincinnati to get food. The last time we went to Tennessee and were heading home we stopped at this amazing Sushi and Seafood buffet place and we wanted to go there again. We spent about an hour driving around to find the place and we find out we hadn't even got to the exit yet! lol
After two hours we manage to find it. :)
See we usually don't take that long to get food, we pretty much will eat anywhere or anything. But we all know how much my hubby loves seafood and i wanted him to enjoy it. Since he has been driving for so long and such. I really wanted to see my friends but i wanted to see Lien enjoy his trip even more.
I didn't remind him for that reason.
And then after we got done eating. When we were almost home he finally remembered. But i told him it was fine. He apologized for forgetting. But that's ok,....i'll see my girls another time. :)

He took the next day off so that he could spend some time with Nalin and I since he hasn't been able to spend time with us. I didn't even realize the older kids had no school!
So we made it a family day. We went out to lunch and then headed out to get some Christmas ornaments for our tree.
We put up our tree that day. It was a good day! I love my little family, even though sometimes we don't really want to be in the same room with each other but we really do love each other. :)

Tuesday, October 23, 2012


Well Soccer season has ended!
Not sure if i'm excited or what. I love love Soccer season. It keeps my kids active and it keeps me busy and happy.
I admit some days i am way too busy that i don't even know where i'm going. But i love it.
I'm glad that it's over so that our little family can finally have some down time and just hang out. But now what do we do? We have way too much time on our hands.

No worries though, Naree starts indoor Soccer soon. :)

When i was younger i didn't get to do sports. Not because my parents wouldn't let me. They weren't around to be able to take me. They both worked hard and mom held 2 jobs for the longest time.
I was able to do Track in Junior High {that's Middle School now}.
Parents couldn't take me to my meets or anything so if it was not at home, i'd get a ride with my best friend, John. So glad his dad let me tag along :)
In fact it was his dad that took us to get our physicals for Track. My mom had to work.
I did Choir too in school and mom and dad never went to my concerts...yes they had to work. :(
My parents were not able to be at any of my concerts, track meets, conferences or any other school activity.
At the time i felt bad sometimes but i know that they had their reasons. I appreciate every effort they make to give us a home and food on the table.

 Back to Soccer {sorry i went off topic a bit} I am a proud momma. I always wanted to be a soccer mom! Nilun is playing for the high school, he is doing well. He did so well, he hurt himself. His knee is hurting a bit, we'll see how it is in a few weeks. I think he just overdid himself. They practiced everyday for 3 hours! That has to take a toll on them.
Naree is doing well also. Her team calls her The Machine! lol
This season her dad got to be Assistant coach.
She is now trying out indoor soccer. She's never played indoor. And yes her dad will be assistant coach for this one too! And he loves it, soccer is his sport. He goes a little too crazy though :)

This is Naree's team on their last game day. Nilun and his friend decided to be their mascot for that game. That's them in the back with the purple morph outfit. They were instant celebs for the day. Kids were running up to them and parents were snapping photos.
It was cold that day too, but the boys were good sports. They waited and waited. I was confused as to why they didn't just go warm up in the car. And then Naree made a goal and i cheered for her. Then i heard all the parents cheering and i look and there's Nilun and Davon running around the whole field with their hands up yelling "GOAL". Parents were giving them high fives and cheering! They waited all that time just so they can run around.
I told you there is never a dull moment in my household!
When i walked up to the field, one of Naree's team mates' mom came up to me and said "so i heard your son is going to be our cheerleader?"
"yes he is but i told him to get out of the car before me or way after me"
"why? I think that's awesome, everyone is waiting for them to get out"
"I told him don't sit close to me or call me mom"
We both laughed!
And after they ran the field, she turns to Nilun and goes "hey where's mom?" and turns around looks at me. We both laugh!

I swear i love being mom to these wackos! Oh and they got it from their dad....

Friday, September 7, 2012

We have a...

We now have a sitter! Yippy...

She is sitting without assistants pretty well now. She is so adorable sitting there and sometimes she'll get her hand and help herself stay up, like she is doing on this picture right now. How cute huh?

She hasn't crawled. I don't think she will. She has been turning over and if she wants to go somewhere she'll just turn and turn til she gets to where she wants to go, it actually is pretty cute to watch her do. She tried to crawl but her face just kinda ends up planting on the carpet and she ends up no where. :)
I think she'll just get up and walk and not crawl at all. Wouldn't that be awesome?!?
What a stinker huh?

And this is mainly how she sleeps now that she can turn over.
Before she would always sleep on her back, no matter how much i change her to her side she'll go back to her back again. That explains the flat head! lol
But i'm glad she is turning on her own now, now she loves to sleep like this and she will change positions on her own. Maybe she'll fix her head on her own! lol

Can't believe time is flying by so fast. I just want it to go a bit slower so i can enjoy her infant times...

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

First day of school...

Well the end of summer for us is here. Today was first day of school for the kiddos. I gotta say it's been great hanging out and nothing a lot of nothing with them this summer {except for our one Idaho trip lol}
but i'm also glad they are back in school.
Needed them to be back to school.
Not a bad mom at all, i just needed some more peace at home and they also needed to get back into the swing of things.

Nilun and Jasmine are now in High school! How time fly doesn't it?
I remember it was just yesterday i was changing their diapers. :(
Oh wait, that was a long time ago.
I'm all sad and happy at the same time.

Naree is now in Middle school...
She was just so nervous and a little excited this morning. I think she will do just fine though.

I can't believe this is really happening. How did i become a mother of a high school kid and middle school?
Wait don't answer that! LOL
I know!!!

I'm glad they are back now. They needed to get back to their studies and be all smart and stuff. :)

And i get to spend most of my day cuddling and hanging out with this little cutie.

Life is good!

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

What we've been doing.....

My vacation started on the 25th of July. And i have to say it's been great since. Been busy but i love it.
I've been going back and forth between Kuna and Twin Falls.
My friend's back yard. Isn't it awesome? Beautiful and peaceful. I could definitely wake up  to this everyday . 

The kids are probably pretty tired and sick of that but i made up for it by renting a hotel.
There is something about kids and hotels. My kids were like kids in a candy store. They were so excited about being in a hotel. My son even sang the song about it and yes he did sing and dance AND took his shirt off.

My daughter camped out in the bathroom until i kicked her out because i had to shower. :)

My kids are what you would call 'bahn naok'. lol
But i have to admit there is something about being in a hotel on your vacation that just makes it all better. It's like the vacation is complete with a hotel stay.
I'm not sure what is it.
They did not want to leave at all. I will have to admit, i didn't really want to leave just yet either.
Us all ready for the wedding. So cheesy huh? lol 
I just wanted to update everyone {if anyone ever even looks at this thing} on what we've been up to since i haven't updated this in a while.
I really need to work on it because i wanted this to be a diary for my kids and grand kids. 

There will be more to post... a lot more. {be forewarned}  lol 

But i can't do much until i get home. Which is in a week. 

Saturday, June 16, 2012


I am just way too behind to even start..

so i'll just tell you just what we've been doing. :)

We recently had a girl's night with the Wong sisters!
It was a fun night.
We had food and we chatted.
Alice {the one in gray} had not met Nalin yet so she was able to.
After we stuffed our faces we did our nails!
It was a nice time.
I am so glad that these two sisters came to see us. We've been wanting some visitors too!
Too bad the other Wong sister wasn't here, then that would be a party! lol 

We did my mother-in-law's 100th day ceremony in May. It is bittersweet that it is already pass 100 days that she has been gone.
It still hasn't really hit me or any of us yet. I suppose we still would like to think that she is still here with us. She is in spirit.
It was nice to have everyone there to celebrate her life while she was here with us.

It's hard to believe that these kids have grown over just a year. I do remember that last year they weren't as 'grown looking' as now.
Where has the time gone?
I wish sometimes i could freeze time - just for a bit longer so i could hold on to them longer.
Pretty soon they will be off making a life of their own.
Until then i hope that they will always be my babies!
Nilun and Jasmine will be starting high school in the fall! Yep you read that right!
Can you believe it? High scholars!
Naree will be starting Middle school in the fall!
My kids have got to STOP growing! lol
My baby girl is growing into a wonderful lady.
I think i wanna cry.
I hope they will always still want to hug this little old lady though. 

My aunt is visiting from California!
It has been both busy but fun having her here.
This time around we were able to take her to many places. I think she's in heaven! lol
We were also able to take her to Tennessee with us!
She has worked so hard almost all her life. Taking care of 4 kids all on her own for years and she has never taken a vacation.
I admire her dedication to her children. She truly is a great mother and she deserves everything.
We are happy to make her happy. This little vacation of hers is so well deserved and i can see the sparkle in her eyes. She is truly happy. Her kids are all grown now so she is able to take little vacations for herself.
Last time she was here we were only able to take her to Niagara Falls. This time she has been everywhere! lol
She loved it so much she extended her stay for another 2 weeks! :)
More of our life!
We are absolutely enjoying life with another baby in the house. It has been super busy and messy but oh so fun!
Every one is 'eating her up'!
She truly is our savoir from sad times. We definitely needed her in our lives!
Soccer season is officially over...
I'm kinda sad.
I love soccer season.
Yes life does get more hectic but i do love soccer.
I can't wait for the next season to start already.
Nilun will be starting high school soccer in August.
And Naree will either be moving up or staying with her team. We aren't sure yet but hey she'll still be playing soccer in the fall.

That's our life in a nutshell for you.
Right now that's all that's happening.. Just enjoying time spent with our loved ones and taking life one day at a time.
Summer has started for us and we are still not sure what we are going to do for Summer. But that's the best part! Not knowing...
We'll just hang out some more and enjoy the ride! Life is just too short not to. :)

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Life's many faces.....

My heart is a little heavy and saddened. The year did not start off so great as we had hope.
My mother-in-law passed but we gained some happiness in the mix with the birth of our precious daughter. We've certainly weathered tremendous storms this year. And it's safe to say we stayed in tack...sanity and all!

My heart is heavy because of many things happening now.
Too many problems arises when one is taken cared of.

How do you keep respecting someone who didn't give you the respect in return? How do you still consider these people family when in actuality they probably don't think of you as family?
These people; people who you've come to include in every aspect of your life. People who have sat and ate with you? People who you share food with?
How does one forget who one is? What goes into ones' mind to forget the people who care for them the most?
How do you sleep at night knowing you've hurt the people who care about you and who are actually the ones who will actually be there for you?
I've found many friends along the road, but i NEVER forget who my true friends are and they will NEVER be replaced.
So why is it that some people are so quick to replace one another?

Maybe i'm just mumbling to myself, i guess this doesn't quite make sense huh?
It doesn't have to, at least not to you?
It makes sense to me!

One day my heavy heart will be lifted because i would have replaced the heaviness with sympathy. Sympathy for these so-called friends because in actuality they are the ones in pain, not me.
They've taken themselves so far from reality that they've forgotten who they are and who truly are their friends. They are lost in a world they claim that is great. But it isn't. Because this world they're in, it makes their heart have hatred, envy and jealousy. They think they live in peace but they don't.
One day it will all hit them. And i hope it doesn't hit too hard. For I still have sympathy for them. I hope that one day they will find their way back. Either i'll be at that road waiting or not, it's hard to tell. I have forgiveness but i also have the courage to walk away from something that has hurt me and i no longer want that in my life.

For now I must put that aside. There are more important things happening in life than to dwell on such "undeserving friends".

For now we focus on coming together as a family to give support, to hold each other, to give our shoulders to cry on, and to make sense of what life is about.

This weekend, we say farewell to a beloved father, uncle, brother, and son.
We will rejoice in his life for he lived a wonderful full life.
We will rejoice in his memory...for it will never be forgotten.
Most of all we will come together to let him know that he is loved by many and most of all he is loved by his family.

Sometimes in life we lose and sometimes we win. There are no guarantees...
So give your loved one hugs and kisses, make sure they know you appreciate and love them.
You just never know when they will have to come together to say farewell to you.
Never take a day granted.
Never take a friend for granted. {forgive and forget - it really isn't that hard}
Never take a family member for granted.
Never not give someone a smile...
For one day you might not get to smile again.

Love with all your heart.
Don't hurt each other.
Laugh til you cry.
And live life to your hearts content.

Remember to love each other - because there might not be tomorrow.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Makes me smile.........

This little chunky monkey makes me smile...........
Every day
Every minute
Every hour

We just can't get enough of her
dirty, stinky, wet diapers......
crying, and blank stares and all..........

We love you little chunky monkey!

Thursday, March 1, 2012


February 11th, 2012
We lost a truly wonderful woman. She was a great mother, daughter, sister, aunt and mother-in-law.
We are sorry and sadden to see her go, but we know God had better plans for her. She lived a wonderful and full life. She lived her life just the way she had always wanted....tending to her farm. She loved her farm. We will forever remember the times we have/had with her.

My mother-in-law was a good woman. The years that she lived with us will forever be in my memories. I will remember everything that you've taught me.
Thank you for everything that you've done for me. Thank you for taking care of my kids for me when i needed it, although you lived with us.
Thank you for raising such a wonderful son who became my husband. You did well!
Thank you for teaching me how to cook when i first moved in...
Thank you for cooking all those delicious food for us.
I have many things to thank you for....
But most of all I'd like to thank you for being in our lives.
We truly were blessed to have known you.

I hope that one day i could be as great of a woman as she was. She and my mother are the two woman whom i'd love to be more like!
It has been a rough road for us....dealing with the birth of our daughter and a week later dealing with her death. It has been a difficult time for all of us.
She was fighting for the longest time. Although i hate to see her go, but it was her time and she isn't suffering anymore.
The only thing i'm sad about is that she didn't get to hold Nalin before she left.
When i was in the hospital giving birth to Nalin, my mother-in-law had already been in the hospital for over 2 weeks. The day i gave birth, she was transferred down to ICU...she had gotten worst.
The only good thing was that it was at the same hospital so it was easy for Lien to stay with me and visit his mom whenever he wanted to. She was on the 3rd floor while i was on the 2nd floor.
She got to see pictures of Nalin but never had the chance to hold her.
And now my daughter will not have the chance to get to know her grandma....
I will try to keep her memory in our lives forever. I will tell Nalin of her grandmother.

It's hard to say what i want to say....i have so much to say but i'm at a lost for words. I want to say more but this is all that's coming out.
I know she is in a better place now.

Now we must pick up our lives and live on. We will keep her in our memories and heart forever.....

Tuesday, February 28, 2012


Just wanted to tell my best friend and my soul mate how much he means to me and how much i love him.

He is truly my rock! He has been such a tremendous help to me right now. He has helped with dishes, cooking, diapers and has helped with the older kids as well.
I am such a lucky lady to have found someone as awesome as he is. I have a few friends who complain about how their husbands don't do this or do that and i am truly grateful that i don't have that problem. Lien helps so much. So truly blessed to have him.

I appreciate all that he does for us!

Friday, February 10, 2012

post baby blues?

There has been a lot of things going on here with us for the pass few weeks. My mother-in-law has been in the hospital for a few weeks now. Everyone is stressed out over her care. All her kids have been here on and off.

I had a baby while my mother-in-law was in the hospital. So you can imagine how things have been. It has been a roller coaster ride for sure.

I've enjoyed the company after coming home from the hospital. I was relieved to have the company. In fact i still wish i had the company..........i feel alone. My sister-in-laws were here too so they kept me occupied.

But what and who i missed the most is Lien. He has been very busy since his mother came back and has been in the hospital. He has been very worried about her and have been going back and forth to the hospital checking in on her. He loves his mom dearly.
I am so sad to see him so stressed and worried.............I wish there was something i could do to help him. But there isn't........
All i could do is give him support.

There have been times i feel like being a selfish wife and just tell him............"hey i need your attention too."
I know when he looks at me {whenever he has the time to take a look} he can see how i feel but i'm trying to stay strong for him.
I want him to know i'm here for him whenever he needs me.

But i'm really feeling the pressure now.
Since the birth of our 3rd child, i have not had the love and companionship from my husband so i feel left out, unloved and alone sometimes. I know that sounds so selfish of me but that is how i feel sometimes.
I only wish that i could just have some time with him..........
It's been lonely without him here with us. I feel alone, sad and hopeless.......
It's like i'm walking in a daze just trying to figure out how to survive the day.
I really wish he could be home with me. I feel scared all the time......especially at night. I get this feeling and i can't shake it off. I wish he was here to hold me and tell me that everything will be alright.
I just miss my husband so much.
Again that's me being selfish.
I understand his need to be there for his mom and family. I WANT him to be there for them and her.

But man, i sure miss my husband.
I can't function straight without him. I only get him for a few hours of the day and he is so tired and sleepy at night, there's not even time for us to talk.

I hope things will improve soon and i hope/pray/wish that my mother-in-law will get well soon.

And i hope i get my husband back, even for just a few hours.

I'm not being selfish, i just want everything to go back to the way it used to be. With every one well and happy. We need some happiness right now.............all of us.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Baby baby baby!!!

There past few days/weeks have been so hectic i don't even know where to began. It's been such a blurr for me......

Baby shower 1/14/12

My baby shower was nice. It was nice to get to mingle with some friends and just enjoy some time with them. Thank you to my good friends Lynn and Rochelle for throwing me such a nice shower and i'd like to thank all my friends who made it out there too.
It meant a lot to me!
I got lots of cute girly outfits!
Pink galore i tell ya! :)
Thank you Rochelle! This is gorgeous......
wish i had taken a group photo before everyone left.
I am grateful to have such wonderful family and friends! Truly am blessed. :)
And even more blessed to have my family: Lien, Nilun and Naree............
They were supportive throughout the pregnancy. Yes even when i had my mood swings. But i promise there weren't many of those. I swear! lol

Also my sweet husband! I love you Lien........
Thank you for always being there for me. Giving me foot rubs and belly rubs. Cooking me my favorite dishes and helping me with the kids, dishes and every thing else. How did i get so lucky?
Yep i know, i think i will keep him! :)

The birth of my much anticipated baby girl! 1/27/12
 I went in to do my regular check up with my OB on 1/26/12.....
She checked me and said i was 3 centimeters dilated. Oh boy right? LOL
I have history with this. See every time i go in to see the doc and she checks me down there........usually means i'm having my baby.
The day she checked me with Nilun: a few hours later i had him.
Same thing with Naree i had her the same day she checked me.
And they were both a week early.
So when my doc said it could be another week...................i told her "no i know it'll either be today or tomorrow".
I just know it.
All day that day i have contractions. Although they weren't labor contractions but i knew it was soon. That night it was very uncomfortable. I couldn't sleep at all. So around 7 am i couldn't hold it and Lien and i headed to the hospital. My contractions were only about 10 minutes apart.
Doc checked me again around 9 am and i was at 5 centimeters. She was surprised for some reason. I'm not sure why.
At around 10ish my contractions started getting really bad and i was in pain for sure this time. So nurse checked me and i was at 7 centimeters. The nurse said she wanted me to wait until i was at 10 centimeters to push. Crazy i know!
Lien told the nurse "my wife's a small person i don't think she can wait til 10 centimeters. She is ready now!"
So the nurse said "ok, i 'll get the doctor."
So doc comes in and i'm literally in lots of pain by now.
She says "let me get my gloves and i'll pop your water and i'll start delivery."
Literally a min after she said that my water breaks.
But now i'm like in pain, real bad pain.

"um my water just broke and i feel something coming out, i want to push."
"no don't push yet."

3 minutes later:
{breathing in and out and in pain} " i can't hold it i want to push, she's pushing me."

The nurse and doctor is now hurrying up to get their stuff and the nurse takes my bed off and gets me ready to push.

Lien: "breath honey, you're doing good."
Me: "oooohhhh............i can't, she's pushing. I have to push now."
Doc: "ok when you're ready just push."

And that's when the fun part begins!
2 pushes in i feel my toe cramping up.
Me: "my toes cramping up."
Nurse: "ok i got it."
4th push and the baby is out at 10:49 am!!!!!!
And she is here! On my stomach staring at me and i can't help but fall in love. She is precious.......
Just as i imagined her to be. This perfect little thing is all mine! How did i get so lucky?
Her hair so thick and there was plenty of it too. :) {i know be jealous!}
9 months of waiting and she is here.

Oh and if anyone was wondering. NO i did not scream, yell or anything. You know how some people yell or scream? Well i'm not one of those people. Never was. I mean i might have been a little loud on the pushing part but other than that No i'm not one of those. :)
Oh and i did it naturally too. No drugs or anything. Yep be jealous! j/k
Just to clarify.............

We are enjoying our little girl! She is perfect in every way. Even when she sleeps. She sleeps a lot and poop a lot too...........but that's what babies do!
She had a little jaundice but she is doing well now.

Her brother and sister are eating it all up.............she is gonna be one spoiled little sister.
Naree always wants to hold her and she is changing her diaper already. :)
And that's a good thing!
Nilun talks to her and i think he just can't wait til she's a bit older so he can do more with her. Right now he likes talking to her in a baby voice and he is holding her.
I'm still working on him changing her diaper.......we'll get there....i hope!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Ice Ice Baby

You know how woman get really weird cravings when they're pregnant?
Well i'm no exception to that. I've had some pretty crazy weird ones.

When i was pregnant with Nilun all i wanted was orange juice and watermelon. I drank orange juice all the time, every waking moment. Never water. : )
And i had to have watermelon even though it was a pain to ALWAYS have to go to the bathroom.
I had other cravings but nothing as major as these two. I had to have them!
When i had Nilun he came out smelling like orange juice....literally NO JOKE!
I even asked my husband "what's that smell? It smells like orange juice!".
He smelled like orange juice for a week! {sorry nilun} 
And his head was shaped like a watermelon. Again I am not kidding you. Don't ask me why, it just did.
And to clarify.....his head is shaped just fine now! : )

With Naree i had all the usual cravings.........
EXCEPT for two very weird, wacky and crazy one!
I wanted Monkeys and Rabbits.
Ok so i know what you are thinking.
"WTF?"..............right? lol
Yep i did, that was a CRAZY craving.
And NO PEOPLE i DID NOT satisfy my craving for that.
First of all......where would i get a monkey?
Anyways i wouldn't try it. YUCK!!!
Monkeys are my fave animal i wouldn't want to eat it let alone hurt it. Well unless you hurt me or someone i love. That's a different story.
That's when they aren't cute anymore. :)
I did however tried the Rabbit and it was yummy! Taste kinda like chicken. Yes it does. So yummy! :)

Wait! Now i can't remember if the Monkey craving was with Nilun or Naree.
OH well it doesn't matter which one because i did have cravings for them. lol

So with this one i have the usual cravings too. But nothing sour or no papaya salad like the typical Asian pregnant woman do. :)
If you're Asian {Thai or Lao} you will understand what i'm talking about. I didn't have a feel for them. In the early stages i did eat lots of sour mango but it stopped around the 6th month.
I don't crave those things. I eat all the regular stuff, nothing too out of this world.
What i crave are fruits, especially Honeydew. I love Honeydew even before i was pregnant but now even more.
And the number one craving of all this time around is......................{drum roll}


Yep these frozen suckers!
I can sit on the couch all day and just munch and munch on these things. I think i probably irritate the heck out of my family sometimes. Because i'll even munch on them when we watch movies or TV.
Sorry guys!
Now it's not that much of a crazy craving but i crave this all the time.
My ice maker broke so now i'm reduced to having to buy the ice at the store.

I'm so crazy about them.
Case in point:
Today i went to the store to get some fruits. And i bought a bag of ice. While at the register i looked at my bag of ice and actually thought of opening the bag and eating some right then and there!
I'm a nut case! The girl would have thought i was psycho or something. :)
Glad i resisted the temptation. But all the way home i couldn't wait to get to my ice.
And while putting the groceries away i actually opened the bag and snuck in a few. It was ooooh so good. :)
When i'm drinking water or juice i add a lot of ice but just enough juice or water to drink just so i could get to the ice quicker.
Yeah i know i'm crazy.
But hey at least i have a friend who understands. Yuki loves the ice too. He'll munch on some with me too. :)

So what is or was your crazy, wacky pregnancy craving?