Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Him

Just wanted to tell my best friend and my soul mate how much he means to me and how much i love him.



He is truly my rock! He has been such a tremendous help to me right now. He has helped with dishes, cooking, diapers and has helped with the older kids as well.
I am such a lucky lady to have found someone as awesome as he is. I have a few friends who complain about how their husbands don't do this or do that and i am truly grateful that i don't have that problem. Lien helps so much. So truly blessed to have him.

I appreciate all that he does for us!

Friday, February 10, 2012

post baby blues?

There has been a lot of things going on here with us for the pass few weeks. My mother-in-law has been in the hospital for a few weeks now. Everyone is stressed out over her care. All her kids have been here on and off.

I had a baby while my mother-in-law was in the hospital. So you can imagine how things have been. It has been a roller coaster ride for sure.

I've enjoyed the company after coming home from the hospital. I was relieved to have the company. In fact i still wish i had the company..........i feel alone. My sister-in-laws were here too so they kept me occupied.

But what and who i missed the most is Lien. He has been very busy since his mother came back and has been in the hospital. He has been very worried about her and have been going back and forth to the hospital checking in on her. He loves his mom dearly.
I am so sad to see him so stressed and worried.............I wish there was something i could do to help him. But there isn't........
All i could do is give him support.

There have been times i feel like being a selfish wife and just tell him............"hey i need your attention too."
I know when he looks at me {whenever he has the time to take a look} he can see how i feel but i'm trying to stay strong for him.
I want him to know i'm here for him whenever he needs me.

But i'm really feeling the pressure now.
Since the birth of our 3rd child, i have not had the love and companionship from my husband so i feel left out, unloved and alone sometimes. I know that sounds so selfish of me but that is how i feel sometimes.
I only wish that i could just have some time with him..........
It's been lonely without him here with us. I feel alone, sad and hopeless.......
It's like i'm walking in a daze just trying to figure out how to survive the day.
I really wish he could be home with me. I feel scared all the time......especially at night. I get this feeling and i can't shake it off. I wish he was here to hold me and tell me that everything will be alright.
I just miss my husband so much.
Again that's me being selfish.
I understand his need to be there for his mom and family. I WANT him to be there for them and her.

But man, i sure miss my husband.
I can't function straight without him. I only get him for a few hours of the day and he is so tired and sleepy at night, there's not even time for us to talk.

I hope things will improve soon and i hope/pray/wish that my mother-in-law will get well soon.

And i hope i get my husband back, even for just a few hours.

I'm not being selfish, i just want everything to go back to the way it used to be. With every one well and happy. We need some happiness right now.............all of us.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Baby baby baby!!!

There past few days/weeks have been so hectic i don't even know where to began. It's been such a blurr for me......

Baby shower 1/14/12


My baby shower was nice. It was nice to get to mingle with some friends and just enjoy some time with them. Thank you to my good friends Lynn and Rochelle for throwing me such a nice shower and i'd like to thank all my friends who made it out there too.
It meant a lot to me!
I got lots of cute girly outfits!
Pink galore i tell ya! :)
Thank you Rochelle! This is gorgeous......
wish i had taken a group photo before everyone left.
I am grateful to have such wonderful family and friends! Truly am blessed. :)
And even more blessed to have my family: Lien, Nilun and Naree............
They were supportive throughout the pregnancy. Yes even when i had my mood swings. But i promise there weren't many of those. I swear! lol

Also my sweet husband! I love you Lien........
Thank you for always being there for me. Giving me foot rubs and belly rubs. Cooking me my favorite dishes and helping me with the kids, dishes and every thing else. How did i get so lucky?
Yep i know, i think i will keep him! :)

The birth of my much anticipated baby girl! 1/27/12
 I went in to do my regular check up with my OB on 1/26/12.....
She checked me and said i was 3 centimeters dilated. Oh boy right? LOL
I have history with this. See every time i go in to see the doc and she checks me down there........usually means i'm having my baby.
The day she checked me with Nilun: a few hours later i had him.
Same thing with Naree i had her the same day she checked me.
And they were both a week early.
So when my doc said it could be another week...................i told her "no i know it'll either be today or tomorrow".
I just know it.
All day that day i have contractions. Although they weren't labor contractions but i knew it was soon. That night it was very uncomfortable. I couldn't sleep at all. So around 7 am i couldn't hold it and Lien and i headed to the hospital. My contractions were only about 10 minutes apart.
Doc checked me again around 9 am and i was at 5 centimeters. She was surprised for some reason. I'm not sure why.
At around 10ish my contractions started getting really bad and i was in pain for sure this time. So nurse checked me and i was at 7 centimeters. The nurse said she wanted me to wait until i was at 10 centimeters to push. Crazy i know!
Lien told the nurse "my wife's a small person i don't think she can wait til 10 centimeters. She is ready now!"
So the nurse said "ok, i 'll get the doctor."
So doc comes in and i'm literally in lots of pain by now.
She says "let me get my gloves and i'll pop your water and i'll start delivery."
Literally a min after she said that my water breaks.
But now i'm like in pain, real bad pain.

"um my water just broke and i feel something coming out, i want to push."
"no don't push yet."

3 minutes later:
{breathing in and out and in pain} " i can't hold it i want to push, she's pushing me."

The nurse and doctor is now hurrying up to get their stuff and the nurse takes my bed off and gets me ready to push.

Lien: "breath honey, you're doing good."
Me: "oooohhhh............i can't, she's pushing. I have to push now."
Doc: "ok when you're ready just push."

And that's when the fun part begins!
2 pushes in i feel my toe cramping up.
Me: "my toes cramping up."
Nurse: "ok i got it."
4th push and the baby is out at 10:49 am!!!!!!
Yay!!!!
And she is here! On my stomach staring at me and i can't help but fall in love. She is precious.......
Just as i imagined her to be. This perfect little thing is all mine! How did i get so lucky?
Her hair so thick and there was plenty of it too. :) {i know be jealous!}
9 months of waiting and she is here.

Oh and if anyone was wondering. NO i did not scream, yell or anything. You know how some people yell or scream? Well i'm not one of those people. Never was. I mean i might have been a little loud on the pushing part but other than that No i'm not one of those. :)
Oh and i did it naturally too. No drugs or anything. Yep be jealous! j/k
Just to clarify.............

We are enjoying our little girl! She is perfect in every way. Even when she sleeps. She sleeps a lot and poop a lot too...........but that's what babies do!
She had a little jaundice but she is doing well now.

Her brother and sister are eating it all up.............she is gonna be one spoiled little sister.
Naree always wants to hold her and she is changing her diaper already. :)
And that's a good thing!
Nilun talks to her and i think he just can't wait til she's a bit older so he can do more with her. Right now he likes talking to her in a baby voice and he is holding her.
I'm still working on him changing her diaper.......we'll get there....i hope!