ramblings

I'm not sure what i want to write or say....
not sure how i'm suppose to go at it.
I'm sometimes at a lost for words and sometimes I've got too much to say...
i'm stuck between a world of chaos...
don't know where or what to look for.
Sometimes i feel as though life has dealt me some shitty stuff.......and sometimes it has been kind.
Such is life i suppose.

I'm not sure how or what you want me to be.
I'm stuck trying to figure you out.
What would you like me to be?
What do you want me to be?
How do you want me to be?
Am i not enough?
What i am now? Is that not enough?

I'm not sure how to go along in this life of mine....
stuck between this life of trying to be too much or not trying hard enough.
Thought i had tried everything but apparently that's not enough?
Some days there are smiles and some there aren't.
I'd really wish for more smiles than frowns.

How would you like me to be?
And if i haven't changed, would you still love me?
What if this is who i am?
This lazy-good-for-nothing kind of person?
Would you still love me then?

I'm not fond of myself........
i don't blame you for your feelings?
I sometimes hate myself too.

Some day you'll smile again.
Because that someday, i should probably be gone.

He and I

I'm glad that I found you.
You make me feel like a special princess.
You are always cheering me on...
Giving me encouragments.
You know how to bring a smile to my face
You know how to make me mad, annoyed, sad and angry.
But you always know how to banish them too.
You put up with all the laziness that I am.....thank you!
You put up with all my nagging and whining but yet still tell me you love me.
Even though i feel like i want you to just leave me alone...sometimes.
You always know how to make that go away.
How did i get so lucky?

I know we haven't always had the best relationship.
We've had our ups and downs, but I'm glad we pulled through.
You're my best friend. You help me be a better person.
No words can explain how grateful I am to have you in my life. Thank you for being my best friend and most of all thank you for being my husband.

This year for Valentine's Day we went to Olive Garden with the kids and Jasmine. No gifts no special flowers or anything.
I have to admit i really was hoping he would surprise me with something.....anything. But he didn't. Well i can't complain. He has been working 12 hours a day. What more do i want from him? :)
The night turned out great. Enjoyed a nice and fabulous dinner with the people i love the most. We enjoyed our food.
To cap off the night, we drove home listening to Nilun do impersonations. I truly love his Arnold "Terminator" impersonation. So hilarious. And his convenient store clerk one is good too.

Happy Valentine's Day!

peace

I did it. I offered the ride to the mother and child and they accepted. I was a little scared not knowing what she would think of the offering but glad that she didn't refuse.
Turns out she does have a car, it's just not working right now and her husbands' car just died on him too. We didn't really have to go far, she was walking her son to pre-school at the church about half a mile down. So it wasn't far for me.
Her son is cute, he really likes Yuki! He even blow Yuki a kiss good-bye when they got out of the car.

I was ready to offer her a ride on Tuesday but when i pulled into the restaurants' parking lot to turn around i saw that someone had picked them up so i headed home. So when i saw them today just passed my street, i turned around and drove into a drive way and asked her if she needed a ride.
Riding on the way to the pre-school she apologized for making me go out of my way to drop her and her son off since i would be turning around to go back home. And she did express gratitude. 

Now i feel better. At least i did my part and i feel good that i at least helped someone out today AND i actually didn't shy away and not ask {i've been know to do that since i've very shy}.
I don't want the credit for it nor am i bragging. All i want is for someone to read this and decide that they want to help someone out too?
Maybe a little "pay it forward" kind of thing?
Doing good always makes me feel like i've done something right. Doesn't it make you feel that way?

Cajun Chicken Pasta

Last night we went back to our 'weekly recipe' deal. The deal was i would at least try a new recipe once a week, more if I can but once a week would be great. Didn't matter where the recipe came from our what kind of food, I just had to make it. The deal was between my daughter and I.

 So this week it is Cajun Chicken Pasta. It turned out great actually. The flavor was great, in fact I think I could have added more Cajun sauce because I didn't think it was spicy enough. Well I should have just put some peppers in it and I'd be pretty happy but I didn't want to kill my kids! :)
My daughter was great help...chopping up things and helping me pour in the ingredients. Oh and of course my son too. He helped a little too!

I can not tell you or even come to describe how the smell was. It was so yummy and, lets just say my kitchen smelled so good to eat! I've never cooked with Cajun sauce but this won't be my last. I'm going to have to make new recipes to add with Cajun sauce.
You can find the recipe  HERE....

I added mushroom to it simply because I love mushroom with pasta. It is so good, especially baby bella mushrooms. And I added some MSG, I'm sorry I can't help it. I have to have my MSG!

We were sitting down to eat and my husband actually liked it, if you know him, you'll know he's not much of a noodle kind of guy but since it's a new recipe and he loves that the kids and I try them once a week, he'll try it. He thought it was good. But he had a better version. He added white pepper powder and some garlic and pepper salt to it and let me tell you. The flavor changed a bit and it was even better. So we added it to ours too and we were happy.

Oh and my son had pizza pockets. Yeah he helps out and stuff but he said he wasn't feeling the noodles this time so he didn't want any. He's not into trying new foods that much. Some days we'll be lucky if he wants to try some of our authentic Lao food but he basically likes to stick to the stuff he knows. My daughter on the other hand? She loves trying new foods. All I can say is that back when she was little we could pretty much eat a lot of things that the kids don't eat. But now pretty much everything we eat, we let Naree have it first and we finish it after her. She eats everything!
For example: You know those baby chicken eggs? Yes the ones with the baby inside! My kids love that, especially the juice but they only eat the yellow part of the egg and we finish the rest. Well 2 years ago my daughter decided to try the white part of it; the hard part! Yes you guessed it, she loves it now. So instead of giving it to daddy after she finishes the yellow part, she keeps the white and gives daddy the baby chicken! She belongs to this family for sure!
My son? Well he's not as brave as my daughter but a few weeks ago he did bulk up and tried the baby chicken.....needless to say he wasn't too fond of it, but hey at least he tried right? :)

So what's keeping you from trying new foods? If a little girl can try why can't you? Like Andrew Zimmerman always says "If it looks good, eat it!"
And well if it doesn't, try it anyways. You never know, you could like it!